Sometimes, no actually, most of the times life is a journey for which no one has the route map. Taking a trip around is like walking with your eyes shut. But nevertheless, the journey is fun.
Read on now about one such journey, of a girl who not only has her eyes shut but also well.. just read on.
People are made a certain way and nothing, and believe me nothing at all, in this world can change this. No matter what step you take to avoid a mistake, in the end one tiny step spoils it all. Its like making a yummy cake but spraying the icing all over! hmmm , my life is such.. and journeys i have taken are far more funnier. Some day i plan to write a book. Like seriously... maybe I'd call it ' Comedy of errors- Sorry Shakespeare'. Cos it is funny as to what all can happen in my life.. or maybe thats just the way i look at it... maybe everyone else's life is a mess but i am not the one to step into everyone's shoes and go 'aah well , my life is better than that'. I am human and i choose to be a doofus at times!
Largely life has not had too many slips and falls but well the last one month is like the account settlement for all the 20 years of it. or maybe just this years' in a holiday package. My idea of taking a holiday this year after about 2 years was to literally take a break- from ppl i knew, from the monochrome life i lived, from the guy i liked, from my past and just from myself. But those ten days were anything but that... well yes, i had shit loads of fun, but what kind of day is it where u still feel a hole in your system.
From my so called break i did realize a few things , but like they say realization isnt getting things right.. its just knowing that THIS is what is wrong in your system. hmmm and such is life, realizing and then adding onto the pile.. once or twice digging an old realization out and dusting it to work on it. hmm... but i am not complaining cos i dare not! i took these steps myself and i am here today thanks to my own doing.
* I dunno why i blindly like.. what is the bloody point anyway? and after how many setbacks will i ever get the idea that it isnt happening. To like at all.. every time i walk ten miles away from liking people, someone draws me back by 20 miles and then it hurts. A lot.
* I am growing to be a highly individualistic human. And i am not sure i am saying this on completely proud terms. I am growing to be a loner. My thoughts, My ideals, my wants, my everythings seem so wierd and random to ppl ( read even my own family) that simple things get complex in the process.
* I am becoming a very very distracted person. I am sure i am losing the thread of my integrated self thanks to the phase that i am going through. I believe, it takes a lot to go uphill!
* I dislike certain feelings. I dislike the fact that i can like / love so much that i becoming sadistic to myself. I am becoming numb.
I just wish i could start all over again... maybe not all of it , but at least from where i left it. The point where all i needed for happiness was a jump and a smile.
Now that i look back, the time that took them away from me is what stands in front of my eyes. Do i accept it? accept what happened and look ahead? or do i sneak a way back into the time where i was me ?
How long will i keep asking questions? is relief, then only momentary? I cant wait for it though for , for a parched throat a few drops of water are more of a welcome than the warm embrace of the sun.
Signing Off
Me
Read on now about one such journey, of a girl who not only has her eyes shut but also well.. just read on.
People are made a certain way and nothing, and believe me nothing at all, in this world can change this. No matter what step you take to avoid a mistake, in the end one tiny step spoils it all. Its like making a yummy cake but spraying the icing all over! hmmm , my life is such.. and journeys i have taken are far more funnier. Some day i plan to write a book. Like seriously... maybe I'd call it ' Comedy of errors- Sorry Shakespeare'. Cos it is funny as to what all can happen in my life.. or maybe thats just the way i look at it... maybe everyone else's life is a mess but i am not the one to step into everyone's shoes and go 'aah well , my life is better than that'. I am human and i choose to be a doofus at times!
Largely life has not had too many slips and falls but well the last one month is like the account settlement for all the 20 years of it. or maybe just this years' in a holiday package. My idea of taking a holiday this year after about 2 years was to literally take a break- from ppl i knew, from the monochrome life i lived, from the guy i liked, from my past and just from myself. But those ten days were anything but that... well yes, i had shit loads of fun, but what kind of day is it where u still feel a hole in your system.
From my so called break i did realize a few things , but like they say realization isnt getting things right.. its just knowing that THIS is what is wrong in your system. hmmm and such is life, realizing and then adding onto the pile.. once or twice digging an old realization out and dusting it to work on it. hmm... but i am not complaining cos i dare not! i took these steps myself and i am here today thanks to my own doing.
* I dunno why i blindly like.. what is the bloody point anyway? and after how many setbacks will i ever get the idea that it isnt happening. To like at all.. every time i walk ten miles away from liking people, someone draws me back by 20 miles and then it hurts. A lot.
* I am growing to be a highly individualistic human. And i am not sure i am saying this on completely proud terms. I am growing to be a loner. My thoughts, My ideals, my wants, my everythings seem so wierd and random to ppl ( read even my own family) that simple things get complex in the process.
* I am becoming a very very distracted person. I am sure i am losing the thread of my integrated self thanks to the phase that i am going through. I believe, it takes a lot to go uphill!
* I dislike certain feelings. I dislike the fact that i can like / love so much that i becoming sadistic to myself. I am becoming numb.
I just wish i could start all over again... maybe not all of it , but at least from where i left it. The point where all i needed for happiness was a jump and a smile.
Now that i look back, the time that took them away from me is what stands in front of my eyes. Do i accept it? accept what happened and look ahead? or do i sneak a way back into the time where i was me ?
How long will i keep asking questions? is relief, then only momentary? I cant wait for it though for , for a parched throat a few drops of water are more of a welcome than the warm embrace of the sun.
Signing Off
Me
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